Ask an Expert: What do women want in a man?

Rita

Last Updated: February 2, 2024

Dating Tips

Contrary to that old trope that women are inscrutable, it is actually possible to answer the question, “What do women look for in a man?” In fact, research has shown that women tend to gravitate towards the same kind of men. And once you find out what is widely attractive to women, you too, can become the kind of sugar daddy that women want!

Let’s take a look at the science behind female attraction!

First, a disclaimer

In this article, we’re going to talk about generalizations and commonalities between women. But we all know that every individual is, well, an individual, right? In other words, not all women fall into these tendencies. And even if they do, they may also have their own preferences and tastes that motivate them beyond basic attraction.

That’s why we’re not only going to talk about what women want in general, but also how you can tune into what the special woman in your life wants. Let’s get started!

What do women look for in a man? Science has the answers

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At the end of the day, we’re all a product of human evolution. At least, that’s what the research on female attraction says. Consider one 2017 study from the journal Biological Science, which found that women tend to rank strong, tall, lean men as the most physically attractive. Why? The researchers theorize it has to do with natural selection. The men who look to be the healthiest are probably the best potential mates, able to both protect them and beat out other males in accessing resources.

But, if you’re not the strongest guy out there, don’t worry. An earlier study found that this display of masculine strength has a limit. For women who are looking for a long-term partner, they seem to prefer more moderate masculine characteristics. This may be due to the fact that hypermasculinity suggests less investment in long-term commitment. For short-term hookups, in other words, the buffer the better. But for relationships, overly pronounced muscles are not a good thing.

And, it’s not just about looks, the science says. It’s also about resources. A study conducted on speed daters found that women are more attracted to earning prospects when considering a mate. This doesn’t necessarily mean that women are only attracted to rich men, but rather that they see ambition, work ethic, and the potential for upward mobility as important.

These studies were, of course, conducted on people interested in traditional dating. So, we can assume that sugar babies are even more interested in the prospect of a man who displays moderate masculinity and high-earning potential!

Moving beyond the superficial

This won’t come as a shock to you, but women aren’t all about looks and money. They also care about the emotional availability and compatibility of a mate.

In fact, one of the categories that was included in the last study we mentioned was personability, or characteristics having to do with likeability. Unsurprisingly, both men and women were attracted to partners they felt ranked highly in this area.

What are the emotional factors that women look for? According to a survey of over 98,000 women conducted in 2007, the most important included:

  • Intelligence
  • A sense of humor
  • Kindness
  • Good communication
  • Trustworthiness
  • Reliability
  • Strong values

Attractiveness was also on the list, but it was considered less important for women than men.

What does all of this mean for you?

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If you’re reading an article on “What do women look for in a man,” we can bet that it’s because you’re interested in being the kind of man that appeals to women. And maybe these studies have given you some hope. After all, the results show that women are interested in many characteristics that you have control over! Here are a few ways to boost your attractiveness to women:

Sign up for a gym membership

The fact of the matter is, women do value physical fitness. And, while you don’t want to live your life thinking only of your physical appearance, it wouldn’t hurt to make sure your lifestyle is healthy. Whether you sign up for a gym membership, hire a personal trainer, do a few laps in the pool every morning, or heck, even play golf once a week, your commitment to movement will do you some good.

But don’t overdo it on the protein shakes

When it comes to female attraction, it is possible to overdo it in the physical fitness department. Unless you’re looking for casual hookups and FWB arrangements, being too muscular can be a turn-off for many women.

So, if you’re interested in long-term arrangements, don’t spend too much time pumping iron.

Be proud of your ambitions

It’s true that women are attracted to men that they see as potential high earners, which is great to hear for the sugar daddies out there. It means that women are naturally disposed to seek out mates they feel can take care of them financially and practically. So, if you have the means, pamper your partner!

That being said, maybe you’re not in a position to whisk your sugar baby away on luxury vacations just yet. That’s okay too! Keep in mind that women are attracted to earning potential. That means that they’ll see and value your ambition and commitment to upward mobility. If you have your eye on the prize, whether it be the corner office or leadership position, she’ll have her eyes on you!

Think about your values

Women like a man with values. Some of these may be family, integrity, morality, or justice. It matters less what your values are and more that you’ve been thinking about them.

Simply opening up a conversation with a woman about the values that matter to her can make her more interested in you. In her eyes, it shows that you know how to be serious about the right things, which is definitely attractive!

Loosen up a little

Okay, humor may not be something that comes naturally to everyone. But, everyone can learn to loosen up a little and see the humor in everyday life.

Consider, for example, that you’re out with your date and you accidentally stumble over a curb. Instead of allowing yourself to feel flustered, embarrassed, and—here’s a common defense mechanism—angry, try making a joke! Something wildly corny, like “I guess I’m falling for you,” can break the tension and show that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

Humor isn’t just about being attractive to women. It makes them feel like they can be more themselves around you, too. After all, cracking a joke takes vulnerability. There’s a chance she might not find it funny. But your effort will make her feel relaxed in your presence.

Don’t be afraid of your feelings

One of the things that people often get wrong about sugar dating is that men are in it to avoid their own feelings. According to these theories, sugar daddies are afraid of commitment and vulnerability, so they stick with friends with benefits and casual hookups.

But if you’ve ever been in a long-term sugar arrangement, you know this isn’t the case! Sugar babies love a man who can be honest about what they want and how they feel. Being vulnerable about their own desires and even insecurities can give a sugar baby a blueprint to help her keep her partner satisfied.

If you really want to be happy in a relationship, open up! You’ll be amazed at how appealing women find this.

Always be a gentleman, always!

Women are paying attention when you’re out in public together. They’re going to notice whether you hold the door open for strangers or speak kindly to the wait staff.

The best way to become a better gentleman is to remind yourself of it all the time. No matter if you’re alone, with other male friends, at work, or with your sugar baby, the more you practice these habits, the more they become second nature. You might even start attracting women in unexpected moments of your day!

When plans change, be proactive about it

Remember that women value dependability. That doesn’t mean that you have to drop your whole life to take care of them. Because remember, having your own ambitions is important! But, if your career or other things come up that will get in the way of your upcoming date or commitments, be open about it.

Let your sugar baby know with as much warning as possible that things might change. Even if it’s not your fault, apologize and validate her feelings (she might be disappointed!) And do whatever you can to reschedule and make her feel important.

As much as you possibly can, stick to your commitments, show up on time, and stay in communication with your sugar baby, even if it’s just to ask about her day. These small gestures will build trust over time and let her know that she can rely on you.

At the end of the day, the most important thing you can do is be yourself

In this article, we’ve shared some research on female attraction and tips on how to appeal to women with science in mind. But, if there’s one thing you should walk away with, it’s this: authenticity is extremely attractive. Never lose sight of the fact that women value honesty, good communication skills, and reliability. If you can show them who you are without trying to manipulate them into thinking you’re someone else, they’ll recognize you as a genuine person. Even if that means they have to live with some flaws, most women prefer that to being lied to.

So, now that you know a bit more about what women look for in a man, it’s time to get out there and start meeting women!