How To Tell a Sugar Daddy What You Want


Last Updated: March 12, 2024

Sugar Baby

Learning how to talk to sugar daddies can seem intimidating at first. But with a few simple tricks, you’ll find that this might just be your favorite part of the sugaring experience. And, before you know it, you’ll feel completely comfortable asking for what you want.

Let’s chat about how you can improve the way that you approach conversations with your sugar daddy.

Don’t be afraid to have the first word

In traditional dating, you might be used to being pursued by a potential partner. But the sugaring world is all about going after what you want. A sugar daddy will appreciate your initiative to start a conversation.

If you’re not sure how to kick things off, you might brainstorm a few intriguing opening lines, like these:

  • If we met on an elevator, what would your pick-up line be? The cornier, the better!
  • Who was your first celebrity crush?
  • What’s the best thing you ever bought?
  • Who is the most underrated character in [popular movie franchise?]

You can choose any question you want as long as it’s light-hearted and unique. Sugar daddies have to sift through spam and respond to other potential partners vying for their attention, you want something that’s going to be fun for them to answer.

Make curiosity a habit

One mistake that many sugar babies make is to get right down to business before building a connection. They might start asking targeted questions too soon as a way to weed out salt daddies from the real thing. And, this is totally understandable. You don’t want to waste your time on someone who isn’t willing or able to offer you the kind of lifestyle you deserve. But the risk is that you might give a potential partner the feeling that they’re being used.

Remember that at the core of sugar dating is, well, dating. So, you should be genuinely interested in who you’ll be spending time with. And, one way to build a connection is through curiosity. By asking open-ended, neutral questions about someone, you can give them the space to talk honestly about themselves. Here are a few things you might ask to show a sugar daddy that you want to get to know them:

  • What do you do for work? What do you like about it?
  • What’s your favorite restaurant?
  • Do you like to travel? Where’s the most interesting place you’ve ever been? What countries are on your bucket list?
  • Do you have any hobbies? Are there any hobbies that you want to try but haven’t had the chance to?

Now, you might notice that the answers to these questions can actually give you some valuable information. If a potential partner’s favorite restaurant has a months-long waitlist, for example, that shows that they’re probably wealthy and well-connected. If they have traveled extensively, it’s possible that they might want to bring a sugar baby along in the future.

Overall, be curious and allow a potential sugar daddy to reveal themselves on their terms. This will make them feel comfortable and seen.

Once you’ve built some trust, then you can move on to more intimate questions

Eventually, you will want to shift the conversation towards a sugar arrangement. That is, after all, why you’re both here!

The perfect time to do this is after you’ve built a little bit of trust and comfort between the two of you. And again, you don’t have to be too forward too quickly. Here are a few ways to approach the subject naturally:

  • So, how are you finding the sugaring community so far?
  • What interested you in signing up for a sugar dating site?
  • I’ve enjoyed getting to know you a little bit. Would you be open to meeting in person?

At this point, you still don’t want to cut to the chase in terms of your expectations. That will come later. For now, you’re simply introducing the topic to get the ball rolling.

Now, you’re finally ready to tell your sugar daddy what you want!


You’re reading this article because you want to learn how to tell your sugar daddy what you want. So it may surprise you that it’s taken this long to get to a stage where you can start making your requests! But trust us, taking your time to get to know your sugar daddy and making them feel comfortable with you is key. Always remember, the connection comes first. Once you’ve established that, your partner will be ready to start pampering you in the way you deserve.

Here are a few tips that will help you have these kinds of conversations with your sugar partner:

  • Know what you want ahead of time. Getting very clear about what you want in a relationship is important. It will give you confidence as you start talking about your expectations from your sugar daddy. And, we’re not just talking about general desires, such as a sugar daddy who will take care of you. You should know how many dates you want to have weekly or monthly, whether you want specific gifts like spa days, or any other details that would make you feel appreciated and cared for. The more you can take the guesswork out of the equation, the easier it will be for your sugar daddy to show up for you.
  • Think about balance. Never forget that sugar arrangements are reciprocal. So, you’re not only telling your sugar daddy what you want from them, but also how you plan on being a great partner. This part of the conversation is crucial. It lets your sugar daddy know that you’re committed to making them happy while also reminding them that you deserve everything that you’re asking for.
  • Don’t be afraid of negotiation. The truth is, many sugar daddies are business people and entrepreneurs. That means they may spend their entire workday negotiating. So, don’t be offended if a partner gives you a counteroffer. In fact, it’s a good idea to think about how much wiggle room you’re willing to accept.

There’s no doubt about it, learning how to talk to sugar daddies in this way takes practice before it becomes comfortable. Keep in mind that you have something valuable to offer and that with the right sugar daddy, you’ll be well on your way to receiving the kind of treatment you’ve always dreamed of.

Learn when to roll with the no’s, and when to cut your losses


We’re not going to lie and say that every conversation about your desires for a sugar relationship is going to pan out perfectly. Sometimes, a potential partner is unwilling or unable to give you everything that you’re asking for. And, you’ll be in a position of having to make a decision about whether to settle or whether to get back into the sugar dating pool.

Every sugar baby has to make this choice for themself. But here are a few considerations that might help you come to a decision:

  • What did the no sound like? One of the things that you can learn about a sugar daddy is how they say no. Did they reject your request in a way that made you feel undeserving or unworthy? Did they tell you a counteroffer that was way less than you’re willing to accept? These are good signs that this person is not a good match for you. They’re never going to rise to the level of sugar daddy that you want them to be.
  • Are they willing to renegotiate in the future? Sometimes a no doesn’t have to mean the end of an arrangement. Perhaps, for instance, they can’t take you on a romantic getaway right now, but they’ll have more free time in a couple of months. Or, maybe they’re not ready to invite you to spend a day on their yacht because they don’t know you well enough yet. In these kinds of cases, it might be worth sticking it out to see whether they’ll come through in the future. That being said, don’t wait around forever! Make it clear that you will be expecting more within a reasonable time period. If they don’t deliver, then it will be time for you to walk away.
  • Have you had other offers? One way to ensure that you’re able to roll with the no’s is to have multiple options. Not only will this give you more practice and confidence in asking for what you want, but it can mean that you’re in a better position to walk away from a sugar daddy who says no. Of course, managing more than one sugar daddy relationship takes effort, but it can give you more opportunities to be properly pampered!

The most important way to learn how to talk to sugar daddies is to just go for it

It can be helpful to learn a few tips and tricks to make these kinds of conversations easier. But the truth is, the more you practice, the better you get. So, don’t hesitate to start building connections, getting clear about your value, and being courageous about asking for what you want. Over time, you’ll be teaching other sugar babies how to talk to sugar daddies!

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