The Psychology of Power Dynamics in Sugar Relationships: What Research Reveals

Talking openly about sugar dating power dynamics is an important way that we can keep our community safe. That’s because, by naming and understanding how these dynamics can develop and the impact that they can have on relationships, we’ll be better prepared to interrupt dangerous behavior patterns and create healthier, happier alternatives.

With this goal in mind, in this article, we’re going to explore what peer-reviewed studies have found when it comes to sugar relationships, age gap relationships, and relationships featuring economic disparities. And, we’ll provide some helpful guidance on how to incorporate safety measures and power balancing features into the negotiation stage.

There’s a lot to cover, so let’s get started!

Sugar dating power dynamic research

As is often the case with socially polemic topics, there are many different research studies on the subject of sugaring, and with varying results.

One such study published in the Journal of Sex Research in 2023 was titled “‘I Was Worshipped and in Control’: Sugar Arrangements Involving Transactional Sex from the Perspective of Both Sugar Babies and Sugar Benefactors.” The study sampled sugar community members from the US and Canada, with interesting results. They found, for instance, that while many of the sugar babies were motivated to find benefactors for financial reasons, they often derived other benefits from the relationships, such as enjoyment. And, both sugar babies and benefactors in the study conveyed that they felt that both parties in a sugar relationship held equal power. Some even shared that they felt that the sugar baby often had more power than the benefactor.

The study also asked sugar babies to share some of their concerns, which included safety, reputation damage, physical safety of their children, and the repercussions of feeling used by their benefactors.

Another study published in the Journal of Academic Research in Business and Social Studies in 2022 focused on the direct lived experiences of sugar babies in Malaysia. In their qualitative research, interviewers found that many sugar babies viewed their relationships as symbiotic. In other words, benefits such as money, attention, and intimacy were bidirectionally exchanged. And while financial support was also seen as a primary motivating factor for sugar babies in the study, they pointed to instances of having their emotional needs met by their sugar daddy or sugar momma. Interestingly, many of the sugar babies in the study conveyed a high level of self esteem, despite societal stigma surrounding sugar relationships.

Also similar to the previous study, the researchers asked sugar babies to elaborate on their perceived risks within sugar relationships. Many pointed to the risk of unintended pregnancy, the possibility of contracting sexually transmitted diseases, and the risk of sexual assault. They also pointed to the potentially negative repercussions of developing romantic feelings for a sugar daddy that could lead to emotional distress.

Yet another study published within the last two years came out in a 2023 issue of the Archives of Sexual Behavior journal with the title “Exploring Attitudes Toward ‘Sugar Relationships’ Across 87 Countries: A Global Perspective on Exchanges of Resources for Sex and Companionship.” This wide-reaching study looked at self-reported data from a staggering 69,924 members of the sugaring community located in 87 countries. And the goal was to explore the ways that people view sugar daddies and sugar babies, respectively. They also wanted to see how those negative or positive views might be connected to country, age, gender, gender equality, sexual orientation and health.

The study found that men in general are more accepting of sugar relationships than women, regardless of age. And factors like unrestricted sexual orientation and whether a participant came from a country with a high Human Development Index (HDI) tended to boost their acceptance of sugar relationships. Interestingly, in countries with a high HDI, participants tended to find value in sugar relationships beyond financial gain, including benefits like improved social status, reputation, and the attractiveness of their sugar partner.

To be sure though, the study found that acceptance of sugar dating is not universal.

What does the research tell us about sugar dating power dynamics?

Now that we’ve gotten into the weeds with sugar dating research data, what theories can we take away about power dynamics in sugar relationships?

Well, for starters, let’s talk about societal acceptance of sugar relationships. In various studies, the data shows that in modern society, we’re not generally accepting of sugar relationships. And self-reported data from sugar babies suggests that this could contribute to negative psychological effects. Sugar babies who may find themselves in already precarious situations because of economic status and gender inequality in their country may be at a greater risk for social rejection than their benefactors.

And, the studies also pointed to the dangers of interpersonal risks. Many sugar babies, for instance, referenced the negative effects of power dynamics within their relationship, ranging from interpersonal violence to objectification to unwanted pregnancies. These are all concerning ways that differences in power can negatively impact sugar babies.

It’s interesting, though, to consider the perceived motivating factors for people to pursue sugar relationships, even given the risks. In many different studies, sugar babies shared that while money may have been an initial appeal, many found additional benefits from their relationships. Factors like emotional support, affection, attraction, social status, and reputation were all cited as sources of sugar dating satisfaction for sugar babies. This clearly contrasts the idea that sugar babies are powerless objects being used by their sugar daddies. Instead, many are able to improve their circumstances and life satisfaction through sugaring.

It was also positive to see that even given social stigma, many of the sugar babies interviewed in various studies conveyed a sense of high self-esteem. We know from other psychological studies that healthy self-esteem can act as a moderating factor against abuse and bullying. In other words, sugar babies with a positive sense of self may be able to overcome some of the risks of unequal power dynamics in their relationships.

How can sugar babies use research to lessen the risks of power dynamics?

We can discuss the research about sugar dating power dynamics at length, but it’s more helpful to consider how we can use the data to create healthier, happier sugar relationships. So, let’s take a look at a few different areas within the world of sugaring where research can serve as a guide:

Social stigma

As we mentioned, social stigma can negatively impact people within the sugaring community. Social stigma has been linked in various studies to a sense of isolation, lower life satisfaction and poor self-esteem. And these factors can make someone more vulnerable to being targeted by manipulative or physically abusive partners. After all, someone who feels rejected by society may not feel that they deserve a healthy relationship or know how to reach out for help.

So, what can we do to mitigate the negative effects of social views around sugaring? Well, on an individual level, sugar babies can seek out like-minded individuals in their own lives or online to counter the risk of social isolation. This might include friends who are open-minded towards sugaring or who also engage in sugar relationships. It could mean joining in-person or online gathering places for sugar babies or non-traditional relationship styles. Or, a sugar baby might find a sugar-positive therapist.

On a larger scale, moving the needle towards wider acceptance or understanding of sugar dating could positively impact those within the sugaring community. There are many ways that this could happen, from people within the sugaring community being brave enough to share their experiences to more accurate and nuanced depictions of sugar relationships in popular media. It would also be helpful for those outside of the sugaring community to take the time to unlearn their own biases.

We predict that as sugar dating becomes more popular, this shift may happen naturally, which would be good news.

Economic disparity

Because so many sugar babies shared that financial gain was their primary motivating factor for entering a relationship, we should talk in more depth about how money affects power dynamics.

One 2022 study from the European Journal of Population, for example, found that in heterosexual couples in which the man is most likely to make the majority of the decisions in the household, the couple is also most likely to have a significant wealth gap. In contrast, households in which the woman has more decision-making power, the couple is likely to have a less obvious wealth gap. Another way that this is described in the literature is “bargaining power,” i.e. the person with more economic resources is more likely to wield power in the form of decision-making.

Researchers pointed out, though, that other things may affect bargaining power in the relationship. Everything from physical attraction to higher education to financial knowledge can boost one person’s bargaining power in the relationship, even if there’s a wealth gap between them.

So, let’s loop back around to what this might look like in sugar relationships. As many of the sugar babies in the previous studies noted, financial gain is a primary motivating factor in finding a sugar daddy. But, how can a sugar baby navigate the power dynamic that is created in such a relationship?

Well, for one thing, a sugar baby can focus on building financial literacy and personal wealth as a way to lessen the wealth gap and boost their own financial knowledge. This can look like a sugar baby choosing to invest part of their allowance in areas like stocks and bonds, property investment, or education. And the result can lead to feeling less dependent on their benefactor, which can reduce the risk of one person taking on the role of sole decision-maker in the relationship.

Another way to think about this is to focus on those other elements of bargaining power. For example, a sugar baby who is fully aware of their non-financial contributions to the relationship, such as physical attraction and emotional care, will be in a better position to push back against the wealthier partner’s attempts to lead the relationship. To be sure, this is already a well-known concept in the world of sugaring and prevents many sugar babies from feeling disempowered by the wealth gap.

Age gap relationships

According to the same 2022 study on wealth gaps, the researchers pointed out that age also has an effect on bargaining power. Namely, the older partner in the relationship tended to take on more of a leadership role in the power dynamic. Furthermore, they mentioned that older partners may also refer to the social norms that they grew up with. In other words, an older sugar daddy in a heterosexual relationship may take on the role that he has been conditioned to accept, namely the one with more power in the couple.

To be sure, this is one of the areas of power dynamics that can be most challenging to overcome, as age is not something that can be changed. But, having open and honest conversations about the value that a younger perspective can contribute to the relationship, and gently pushing back on outdated ideas about gender roles within relationships, can help to change the dynamic.

Physical health and wellness

The findings from the 2022 study out of Malaysia brought up an important topic around physical health and wellness in the sugaring community. According to their findings, researchers pointed out that sugar babies in this context were at higher risk for intimacy-related complications such as STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Part of the explanation for this high risk had to do with the fact that some sugar babies felt disempowered to request that their partner use proper protection.

There are a few potential solutions here. For one thing, sugar babies can be clear at the beginning of the relationship about their expectations for personal safety and hygiene. This could even include requesting proof of STD testing before engaging in intimacy and at various times during the relationship, and/or requiring the use of condoms throughout the relationship.

In addition, sugar babies can include birth control measures as part of the agreement. This might look like a sugar daddy covering the cost of birth control pills or the method of birth control preferred by the sugar baby.

Of course, these can be potentially uncomfortable conversations to have, but they set the tone for personal health and wellness from the start. And, by getting the details ironed out during the negotiation phase, the sugar baby can avoid trying to introduce the idea of using protection in the heat of the moment.

Red flags for power dynamics and how to address them

We’ve talked in this article about what peer-reviewed literature has to say about sugar relationships, power dynamics, and societal views on sugaring. And we’ve addressed some of the common power dynamics and how to deal with them. But, before we conclude, we also wanted to highlight some specific behaviors that should always be considered deal-breakers in sugar relationships. These are instances in which a sugar daddy may cross the line or try to take advantage of the inherent power dynamics in the relationship and should be taken as serious red flags:

The use of pressure or guilt-tripping

Someone who believes that they are in a position of power may use that to influence how their partner behaves. This can look like comments such as:

• “You owe me”
• “You better keep me happy”
• “You would be nowhere without me”
• “I contribute a lot more to this relationship”
• “You should be ashamed”

Guilt-tripping can also look like silent treatment or not letting go of past mistakes. Overall, these are emotional manipulation tactics intended to lower your self-esteem and gain leverage in the relationship.

Withholding of resources as a form of manipulation

Unfortunately, because many of the benefits that a sugar daddy provides in the relationship are tangible—cash transfers, physical gifts, experiences—they’re also in a better position to be able to withhold those resources as a show of power. This should be taken as a major red flag and a betrayal of the agreement of the relationship.

Belittling or verbal abuse

Power dynamics are worsened when one partner actively tries to lower the self-esteem of the other, so examples of belittling or verbal abuse shouldn’t be ignored. This might look like:

• Negative comments on a person’s appearance.
• Being overly critical.
• Pointing out someone’s mistakes or shortcomings in a way that is not constructive or kind.
• Twisting the other person’s words.
• Gaslighting, or the habit of making the other person question their own reality.
• Not allowing the other person to speak without interruption.
• Being critical of the other person’s social support network or lifestyle.

Meddling in your life outside of the sugar relationship

The person with more traditional power in a sugar relationship may exert their influence in ways that go beyond the confines of your agreement. For example, be very cautious about anyone who makes direct contact with your friends or family, makes changes to your home without your permission, or otherwise interferes with your life without your consent. These are signs that they do not respect your personal autonomy or decision-making power.

Crossing of physical boundaries

Physical boundaries are extremely important in sugar relationships. And no one should cross those boundaries just because they may hold more traditional sources of power.

Crossing of physical boundaries can appear in many forms, including trying to initiate public displays of affection against the other person’s wishes, invading the other person’s personal space, or pursuing intimacy that is unwanted.

Because this kind of behavior can escalate over time, it’s important to not dismiss early warning signs of a person crossing physical boundaries.

Refusal to maintain intimacy safety measures

Once you’ve clearly established guidelines for safe and healthy intimacy, any behavior that ignores that agreement is a major red flag. This can look like consistently “forgetting” to bring condoms or complaining about the use of condoms as a way to pressure the other person into unprotected intimacy.

The sugaring community needs to keep talking about sugar dating power dynamics

Even though it’s not the most feel-good topic in the sugaring world, talking about power dynamics is important for creating a healthy, positive community for everyone. Because, the more that we’re able to look at peer-reviewed research on sugar relationships and power dynamics, the better prepared we’ll all be to address potential problems and identify red flags.

So, now that you’ve learned more about the studies on power dynamics in sugar relationships, how will you move forward as a sugar baby or sugar daddy? Will you change anything about the negotiation process? Or, do you feel confident that your current and future relationships will have a healthy power dynamic?

No matter how you answer those questions, we would encourage everyone in the sugaring community to keep talking about sugar dating power dynamics to keep everyone happy, safe, and satisfied!