Unlock His Desire: 9 Texts That Drive Him Wild
With intriguing, carefully worded texts that make him chase you, you can stop checking your notifications every few seconds. And you can start feeling more confident in your dating life and enjoying more genuine connections.
Let’s take a look at 9 effective text examples for when you want to spark his interest and keep the conversation going on your terms!
1: Sorry if you’re not into cheesy good morning texts, but I have to admit that I woke up thinking about you
Why it works
Good morning texts can be risky because not everyone is a morning person or likes to chat first thing after their alarm goes off. After all, the stress hormone, cortisol, is highest in the morning thanks to something called the cortisol awakening response. It’s basically the body’s way of jumpstarting the day with a little hormonal boost. That, paired with the pressure to eat a healthy breakfast, get out the door on time, and potentially sit in traffic, can make mornings a less-than-ideal time for a flirty conversation.
But this text is a good way to test the waters. It suggests, “I’d like to talk to you in the morning, and I’m going to be vulnerable enough to admit it. But if that’s not your thing, that’s okay too.”
What to follow up on
If he responds with a not-so-enthusiastic text back, don’t panic. As we said, not everyone is chipper in the morning. Just brush it off and consider texting later in the day moving forward.
If he responds enthusiastically, then, of course, you can keep going. Ask him how he slept, what his favorite breakfast food is, or if you’re feeling really bold, hit him with a “So, did I show up in your dreams last night?”
2: I have a question for you that I just can’t let go…
Why it works
For starters, this text is effective because it lets him know that you’ve been thinking about him, maybe even thinking about him quite a lot! And, who doesn’t want to receive that little confidence boost from their crush?
But it also has the effect of generating intrigue. What are you going to ask? Will it be silly or serious, or sexy? It’s the perfect cliffhanger to keep the conversation going and keep him on his toes.
What to follow up on
Before you send this text, it’s a good idea to, you know, have a question in mind that you’re going to ask. And you can take this in the direction you think will be most effective, given what you’ve already learned about him.
For instance, is a very deep and thoughtful person? Then, you might ask a philosophical question or something more personal, like “You never finished telling me about your favorite book growing up. Tell me more!”
Or, is he more of a fun-loving jokester? You might ask him a question that leans towards teasing or playful. Something like, “Was it just me, or did you loosen up a little after the first round of drinks? On my part, I was pretty nervous until you dropped your fork, and then I was like, ‘Oh, okay, maybe I’m not the only one.”
Or, let’s say that the two of you had a steamier encounter. In that case, you might ask something like, “How did you know that I would go absolutely crazy for…?” We’ll let you fill in the blank for that one!
3: I’m going to the gym later, so I’m updating my workout playlist. Do you have any suggestions?
Why it works
Like many of the other texts that make him chase you, this one works on multiple levels. For one thing, there’s the invitation to learn more about your life. He may not have known, for instance, that you like to go to the gym and that you listen to music while you work out. And, to be honest, it doesn’t hurt to put the image in his mind of you wearing cute gym clothes and working on your fitness!
You could also personalize this to your specific hobbies by saying something like “I’m going for a walk later and am updating my playlist” or “I’m sitting in traffic, any music suggestions to help with the road rage?” These small insights into who you are, your hobbies, or how you spend your days make you more interesting and genuine.
And on another level, this text is effective because it will engage him emotionally. Music is deeply personal, and he might see this as a chance to show off his taste in music and bond with you over a shared interest.
Finally, what we like about this text is that it’s specific and creative. You’re not just saying, “So, what kind of music do you like?” which is generic and broad. Instead, it’s saying, “I have a problem that I need help solving, and I want you to use your unique musical taste to help me solve it.”
What to follow up on
There are a few things to keep in mind about the conversation that may unfold after sending this text.
If he sends you his recommendations enthusiastically, take it as a good sign! And, more importantly, stay open-minded to the kind of music he sent you. You can imagine how much it would sting to be vulnerable enough to share music recommendations only for the other person to say, “Wow, this is terrible.” In essence, don’t yuck his yum; otherwise, you might risk pushing him away. And, even if you really don’t like what he sent you, you can be gracious enough to say something like, “It’s not my usual go-to music, but I’m excited to give it a listen.”
Now, let’s say he responds to this message poorly. Maybe he gives the impression that it’s a chore to send you music recommendations, or he says he’s just not really into music. Or perhaps he says something generic like, “I don’t know, look up a workout playlist.” These are signs that he’s either not really open to texting or is just not a creative person. For certain, he’s not in the mood to be playful or helpful. Either way, red flag.
4: I’m kind of mad at you that you have me smiling like a fool in public
Why it works
When you’re chatting with a new crush, you’ve probably had the experience of uncontrollable smiling, blushing, and maybe even giggling. And, this can be embarrassing when you’re in public or around people who are going to give you a hard time for it. But, it’s also a sweet thing to share with the person who has you feeling over the moon.
Of course, as wholesome as this sentiment can be, saying something like, “you have me smiling at my phone” or “I can’t stop smiling when I see your notification” can feel overwhelming to someone that you’re not fully connected to yet. They may wonder whether there’s an imbalance in interest and emotion. And that’s why adding a phrase to soften it, such as “I’m kind of mad at you” or “I can’t believe you have me smiling,” can be effective. It lets the other person know that your feelings are not totally out of control or that this is something that doesn’t happen to you often. Instead, you’re suggesting that this is out of character for you, and yet, you’re willing to admit that for this person, you can’t stop smiling.
What to follow up on
Unlike some of the other texts that we’ve shared in this list, this one isn’t necessarily a conversation starter. Instead, you can think of it like a little gift in the form of a compliment that might also bring a smile to your crush’s face. Ideally, he’ll respond positively with an emoji or by saying that he feels the same. Or, maybe he’ll send a selfie of himself smiling, too.
But don’t panic if the conversation doesn’t flow seamlessly from there. You might have to throw in another one of the texts on our list to keep things moving.
5: I’m having such a hard time choosing my outfit today. Will you help me?
Why it works
Okay, your first thought might be, “Surely, a guy isn’t going to be interested in my fashion choices." But the truth is, if he’s interested in you, he’s going to be interested in what you wear and what your plans are for the day. And he’s definitely going to be interested in seeing some cute selfies of you in different outfits.
Plus, it’s more interactive, engaging, and intimate than simply sending a selfie after you’ve already gotten ready to leave the house. You can think of it as an invitation into your inner world that not everyone gets to see!
This is also a great opportunity for you to learn more about what his preferences are! If he chooses the outfit with a dress instead of shorts or a certain color palette instead of another, that’s information that you can use to prepare for your next date.
What to follow up on
There are a couple of different ways that a conversation can go from this text.
On the one hand, it could end up being completely sweet and unassuming. He’ll give you his preference, and you two can chat about what made him choose one over the other, or you can ask him what he’s wearing today.
Or, on the other hand, there’s the potential for this conversation to go in a spicier direction. As we said, getting dressed is an intimate experience, so don’t be surprised if he responds with something suggestive, along the lines of taking clothes off instead of putting them on. If this is the vibe that you’re after, keep the flirtation going! It’s one of the reasons why this option is on the list of texts that make him chase you, because he’ll definitely be locked in.
6: Hey, just letting you know I’m not going to be checking my phone for a few hours. But I wouldn’t mind coming back to a cute message if you have one for me ;)
Why it works
If you want a guy to stay engaged, one of the best things you can do is make sure you’re not chatting 24/7. After all, both of you will benefit from a break from time to time so that getting notifications from one another continues to feel exciting and new.
Now, we should clarify that putting your phone aside for a while isn’t the same thing as playing hard to get or other outdated and frankly manipulative dating games. In other words, you’re not leaving him “on read” to stir up feelings of doubt or feign aloofness. Instead, you’re clearly communicating that you’ll be away from your phone for a while but fully intend on checking in when you can. This is a more emotionally mature option that lets you know you’re interested even though you’re taking a phone break.
The other reason this text works is that it invites him to continue engaging with you while you’re away. It gives him the chance to send something sweet or funny. Basically, you’re putting the ball in his court in a way that doesn’t feel like you’re putting pressure on him.
What to follow up on
There are a few things to make this text effective, the most important being that you actually do put your phone away for a while. After all, it’s not a good look if you tell your crush you’re focused on work, and then they see you posting to your Instagram stories. That will make it seem like you either didn’t want to talk to him specifically or that you’re playing mind games.
The other thing to remember is to check in around the time that you said you would. Again, the point here is not to buy into the idea that you have to play hard to get or hide the fact that you’re interested in your crush. Instead, the idea is to establish a healthy conversation pattern, one in which you’re not talking all the time, but you’re also genuine in showing interest. It’s all about balance.
One way to get the conversation rolling again could be to send a follow-up text such as, “Hey there, what have you been up to since I’ve been gone?” or “Hi you, I’ve been looking forward to chatting with you all day!”
7: I just saw something that reminded me of you, look…
Why it works
The most obvious benefit of this text is that it lets the other person know that you’re thinking of them. And trust us, that moment between getting the text and receiving the image is a cliffhanger that will make him glued to his phone.
Now, how exactly you want to play this is up to you. You could opt for something sweet, like sending him a picture of his favorite food or a poster for a movie that you saw together. Or, you could go for the shock of something funny. For instance, maybe he confessed to you how much he hates peaches, and you sent him a picture of a peach stand.
Of course, you could also take this in a naughty direction if that’s more your speed. Maybe you send him a picture of an eggplant at the grocery store to allude to the notoriously suggestive emoji. Or, perhaps you snap a photo of the lingerie section of the clothing store you’re in.
What to follow up on
Depending on what kind of picture you send him, the conversation may go in a few different directions.
Something sweet and simple, for instance, may elicit nothing more than an acknowledgement like, “Aww, that’s cute,” or it may prompt him to set up your next date by saying something like, “That reminds me, I think we’re due for another date.”
If you went the funny route, this could jumpstart some playful banter. And of course, if you opted for suggestiveness, well, you can probably guess where the conversation is likely to go.
8: Can you keep a secret? Because I have a confession…
Why it works
Again, a cliffhanger is such an effective way to get a guy to stay engaged in the conversation. And even though he may not admit it, you can bet that he’s probably just as much of a sucker for juicy gossip as the rest of us.
Like some of the other texts on this list, it also creates a sense of intimacy and closeness, which is important for establishing an emotional connection.
What to follow up on
To be sure, this text prompt strongly suggests that you might take it into naughty territory. For example, maybe your next line is to say that you can’t stop thinking about the last night the two of you spent together. This is highly likely to stop him in his tracks, no matter where he is or what he’s doing.
But, you could also take this in a non-sexual direction, which could also be effective! Maybe, for instance, you tell him that you went to see your coworker in a play and don’t have the heart to tell her that it was absolutely terrible. Or maybe you have to get it off your chest that you lied to your sister about liking her new boyfriend. These little tidbits of gossip are interesting conversation starters and will foster intimacy between you and your crush.
Keep in mind that there is a little bit of a risk here. Not everyone enjoys gossip, and you don’t want to give off the impression that you regularly talk behind people’s backs. But, if he’s shown that he’s a bit of a gossip himself, and you keep the conversation light and non-judgmental, it can be a great way to build emotional connection.
9: So, don’t get me wrong, I love texting you. But I’d like even more to see you offline. What do you think?
Why it works
A lot of potential couples struggle to make the leap from online flirtation to in-person romance. And, what we like about this text is that it both acknowledges that you enjoy talking to him but would really like to get to know him more face-to-face. It’s bold, direct, and honest, but without being too pushy.
What to follow up on
This is our last example of texts that make him chase you because it’s kind of like your ace in the hole. You use it when you’re fairly sure that things are going well and you’re ready to go all in.
And of course, if he responds well to this, your follow-up should be to solidify a date and start looking forward to your next meetup.
But if he hems and haws and doesn’t seem that enthusiastic about the possibility of meeting you, well, then, it might be time to take your winning texts to someone who will appreciate them.
Ways to make your texting even more effective
So far, we’ve covered 9 texts that are sure to have him fumbling over his phone keyboard to message you back ASAP. Here are a few final words of advice to take your texting game up a notch when you’re talking to your crush:
Remember that you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person
There’s a concept in the dating world that once you find someone who is interested in you and matches your vibe, there’s very little you could say or do that would give them the ick. Text them all day, every day? They love it. Send meme after meme? They can’t get enough. Make silly dad jokes that make your friends cringe? They’re laughing out loud.
This is good advice when you’re feeling the pressure to follow traditional dating rules like “don’t text back within an hour of him texting you” or “don’t send cheesy good morning texts, otherwise, he’ll know you’re interested.” In general, it’s better to be authentic and weed out the guys who don’t match your vibe than to second-guess every message you send him. The latter is bound to come off as inauthentic and maybe even calculated.
Fill your time with other activities
As we mentioned, there are some real benefits to maintaining a life full of activities and responsibilities that keep you away from your phone. The occasional distance will give you both a break from screen fatigue and allow you to build an emotional connection through missing each other.
One thing that might help here would be to put a screen lock on your phone to control your daily usage.
Incorporate audio messages
One of the drawbacks of texting is that it lacks a lot of the context cues that we rely on in in-person interactions. And you would be surprised at just how much of a difference it makes to hear someone’s voice instead of simply reading their text.
Audio messages not only cut down on the risks of misinterpretation and confusion, but they also build emotional connection.
The key here is to use audio messages strategically. Especially if you’re in a country like the US that doesn’t use audio messages as much as texting, you might ask whether your crush would be comfortable getting audios. And even then, use them sparingly or when you know that your crush won’t be at work or around other people.
Mind your emojis
People tend to be divided over emoji usage. Some people love them and think they do a great job at conveying emotions, subtleties, and sarcasm. Others see them as childish or corny.
We would say, as you start texting with your crush, let them take the lead. If they use emojis, sprinkle some in yourself. If they don’t, maybe take a few out of the rotation.
That being said, if you love using emojis and don’t want to hold back, do what feels comfortable! As we said, you can’t say the wrong thing (or use the wrong winky face) to the right person.
Avoid generic messages
One thing that is sure to end a conversation is a one or two-word text. For instance, receiving a simple “hey” often feels to the other person like you’ve shown up to their house unannounced and expect to be entertained. And, texts like “haha” or “omg lol” are sure conversation enders, because, really, where is the other person supposed to go from there?
If you’re busy and can’t respond with anything more than short answers, it’s better to let them know you’ll respond later than to offer them the texting equivalent of breadcrumbs.
And, while we’re talking about texting breadcrumbs, make sure that you don’t accept them, either! If you’ve put thought and care into your texts, you deserve someone who is engaged and willing to keep the conversation going.
Don’t chase him
Some people are bad texters, it’s true. But in general, when a guy doesn’t respond to your texts (and especially if he doesn’t respond to texts specially crafted to spark his interest and invite conversation), it’s a sign that he might not be that interested in you. It hurts, but it’s better to take the loss and move on than keep sending texts into the void hoping that he’ll come around.
Ultimately, where you find the limit is your choice. Some people live by the rule: no double texting. And this means that if your first text didn’t get a response, you don’t send a second text. Or, you might be more comfortable with the “three strikes, you’re out rule” which says that if you send three unanswered texts, it’s time to throw in the towel.
Which of these texts that make him chase you will you try first?
In this article, we’ve shared 9 unique texts that are sure to spark his interest and give you two love birds plenty of fodder for fun, flirty, or emotional conversations. And now it’s up to you to try them out yourself! Will you go for the intriguing cliffhanger? Wholesome compliment? Or something a little spicier?
No matter which one you choose, these texts that make him chase you are going to have your phone buzzing more than ever before!