If you’re looking to build a sugar daddy relationship or are already in one, you might be wondering how to make it enjoyable in the long term. Not only does this include considering how to keep a sugar daddy happy, but also the ways in which you can honor your own needs and desires.
Like any kind of relationship, sugaring takes effort and commitment. By learning how to navigate the dynamics between yourself and your sugar partner, you’ll be in a much better position to enjoy all of the wonderful things that your arrangement has to offer. You’ll also build skills that will serve you well in other areas of your life, including work, romance, and with friends and family! So, let’s talk about how to get real with your sugar partner.
Put together your blueprint
The first step in creating a satisfying sugar relationship actually starts before meeting any potential partner. That's right. This is the planning phase. Your goal at this stage is to figure out what you want in a sugar arrangement. What benefits would make this style of dating worthwhile for you? What kinds of partners are most appealing to you? What kind of boundaries are important to you?
It’s also important at this point to think honestly about what you can and are willing to offer a potential partner. What are your non-negotiables in terms of what you will and won’t do? What kinds of behaviors are instant turn-offs for you? And what will you do if someone doesn’t respect your boundaries?
This is all valuable information for you to start putting together a blueprint for your sugar relationship. And while you don’t have to actually write it down, you will want to include some of this information in your sugar daddy profile. That way, you can attract the kinds of partners who are best able to fulfill your needs.
If you already have a sugar daddy relationship, don’t worry. You can still do this. Setting aside some solo time to think about your goals and values is always a valuable process. It will either strengthen your current arrangement or help you realize that you might actually be happier in a different kind of sugar partnership. Either way, you’ll be recommitting to your own happiness.
Don’t come in guns blazing
One of the most important parts of any sugar relationship is the meet & greet. This first date will let you know if there’s chemistry between you and a potential partner. And it will be a good opportunity to start talking about goals for the relationship.
Remember, though, that this isn’t a job interview or a business deal! So, you don’t want to come in guns blazing. Making too many demands too quickly and treating your potential partner as an adversary is off-putting.
Instead, remind yourself that you’re talking to a real person with their own feelings, hopes, and desires. Be curious about them and let the conversation flow. That will make it much easier to start talking about terms.
But don’t shy away from your expectations and boundaries either
You can have a lovely conversation during your meet & greet and also introduce your expectations for an arrangement. In fact, you don’t want the first date to slip away without mentioning what you’re looking for in a relationship.
If you’re not sure how to broach the subject, here are a few ways to get started,
- I was drawn to sugaring because I found [your favorite thing about sugar dating] so appealing. Is that something that you would be comfortable with?
- I always get shy talking about what I want, but I think it’s important that we understand each other right from the start! So, a few of the things I’m looking for in a partner are…”
As you can see, you can talk about your expectations in a sugar relationship without being too formal. Talk about your desires and hopes! Your partner will appreciate your honesty.
Take a closer look at power dynamics
Every once in a while, you may start to feel a difference in power between you and a potential partner. This may leave you feeling uncomfortable or unable to talk about what you need. Contrary to what you might have heard about sugar arrangements, this kind of power dynamic is not normal or healthy between sugar daddies and their babies. In fact, it should always be addressed in order to create a more meaningful and fulfilling arrangement.
If you are feeling a power shift, think about where it might be coming from. In other words, what exactly is making you feel like you have less power? Is it the way that your partner treats you? Or are you feeling intimidated by their status, wealth, age, or something else?
If it’s the former, it’s important to remind yourself that you contribute equally to this relationship. So, there is no reason why one person should act superior to another. With this in mind, you might consider bringing up the troubling behavior to your partner. You can point out which specific habits are making you unhappy. And, if they’re unwilling to change, then it might be time to take your value to another sugar arrangement.
If, on the other hand, you think that you’re feeling unequal to your partner because of their status in life, don’t worry. You’re not alone. This is common with sugar babies, specifically. That’s because society tends to value things like wealth and status over the benefits that sugar babies bring to relationships, like quality time, conversation, and emotional support.
But, the truth is, you do bring value you bring to your arrangement. If your partner didn’t enjoy your company, they wouldn’t be here! So, you don’t have to feel like they’re doing you any favors or that you owe them anything. By doing this internal self-esteem boost, you can be sure to balance out the power difference in order to enjoy your relationship.
Really commit to making your partner happy
One of the easiest ways to deepen your connection is to focus on how to make your partner happy. There are a few reasons why this is so important for a successful partnership:
- It will make your relationship less individualistic. One mistake that some people make in a sugar daddy relationship is to assume that everyone is in it for themselves. This individualistic mindset can close you off from making meaningful connections. It can also leave you feeling jaded and disappointed in general, as you may start to believe that everyone is only trying to take advantage of you.
- It will lay the foundation for a long-standing relationship. Let’s say that your sugar daddy is climbing the ranks at their current job. Do you think that they’re going to continue sharing their newfound wealth with someone they think is only after their money? Or, will they be more willing to continue a relationship with a sugar baby who has proven themselves to be loyal and generous? In other words, the strong bond that you built by being selfless will often blossom into something even better over time.
- It will put you in a better position to ask for what you want. Sugar relationships are usually open to renegotiation or ongoing conversations about terms. If you’re thinking of asking for something different, your past behavior will be a huge factor in how willing your partner is to give you new benefits.
- It will be more obvious to you if your partner is not the right match. When you show up to a relationship with good intentions and a commitment to making your partner happy, something important happens. It becomes very obvious whether or not your partner is doing the same. So, if you show interest in your partner and go out of your way to fulfill their needs, and they very clearly don’t do the same for you, it’s a good sign that you’re not going to be a good match. It might be time to pack it up and find someone who also has your interests at heart.
Be open to feedback
Inevitably, you and your sugar partner are going to disagree about something. Maybe they’ve pointed out that you’re on your phone during dates. Or, perhaps they’ve told you that it bothers them when you show up late.
Receiving this kind of feedback can be tough, but it’s also a good life skill to listen and respond appropriately. Instead of getting defensive, ask yourself whether their feedback is warranted. If what they're saying has some truth to it, make sure to validate it and commit to change.
And, if you can teach yourself to be open to feedback, you’ll also find the emotional maturity to offer it! Be gentle and tell your partner how their behavior makes you feel. They’ll be much more receptive to what you have to say when you’re thoughtful with your approach!
Here’s an example,
- Instead of saying, “Well, you changed plans again,” try saying, “It was difficult for me when you changed plans because I was looking forward to seeing you and had cleared that time for our date.”
Show appreciation for moments when your partner makes you happy
No matter if you’re in a sugar relationship, marriage, work environment, or other setting, gratitude always goes a long way! If you can regularly remind your partner of what you enjoy about your time together, you’ll notice that it becomes so much easier to:
- Maintain a good, positive connection with them
- Suggest changes in the relationship
- Deal with any disagreements
Showing appreciation for your sugar partner doesn’t mean that problems will never arise. But it will ensure that you have the trust, understanding, and goodwill to weather the storms together because you are constantly aware of the value of your relationship.
Don’t push down your feelings
One huge misconception about sugaring is that it’s emotionless or completely transactional. The truth of the matter is, sugar partners are humans! We’re all going to have emotions from time to time.
If you’re not happy with how things are going, the worst thing you can do is play games, pout, and wait for your partner to figure out what’s wrong. That’s exactly the kind of emotional immaturity that your partner is looking to avoid by having a sugar partnership.
Remember that a healthy, fulfilling sugar relationship takes work
If you’ve read through this article and thought, “Wow, this is a lot of effort,” well, you’re right! Good, meaningful arrangements do take work. But, when you commit to being intentional in your sugar daddy relationship, you’ll reap the rewards!