What is Just Talking?

Definition

"Just talking" is used to describe early-stage interactions between people who are getting to know each other for potential romantic interest without an agreement or label of exclusivity. This happens mostly through texting, social media messages, calls, or in-person conversations, but those involved do not consider themselves a couple. Both people often avoid stating clear intentions. The exchange can involve sharing personal stories, flirting, or checking for chemistry, but does not require any public or private commitment.

Communication

Most people in the "just talking" phase use social media and messaging apps. In one study, 89 percent of college students listed Snapchat, Instagram, or texting as their main way to keep in touch. Ongoing conversations are seen by some as helping to keep options open while reducing social pressure. A Google study cited by Feeld found that 20 percent of those aged 18 to 24 view text-based conversations as similar to going on dates.

Intimacy

"Just talking" can involve emotional and sometimes physical closeness. A survey from 2024 with over 400 participants revealed that 41 percent reported having physical intimacy while in this stage, and many saw it as part of the process of evaluating a future relationship. Emotional sharing is common, with people swapping stories about values, beliefs, and personal goals.

Boundaries and Non-Commitment

This stage is marked by a lack of clear boundaries. People often do not see the relationship as exclusive unless discussed directly. In one multi-college study, about 68 percent reported they would not presume exclusivity unless both parties addressed it clearly. Most participants reported that multiple "just talking" exchanges can happen at once, especially on dating apps, and 91 percent of Feeld users said they had ongoing conversations with several matches at the same time.

Progression

Research points to different possible outcomes from the "just talking" phase. In a 2025 study, about 58 percent of these connections fizzled out within two to six weeks, 29 percent turned into a relationship after a few months, and 13 percent continued in a non-exclusive pattern for longer. Trajectories can shift quickly if one or both people wish to define the relationship. If clarity is not reached, some may leave quietly, a process often called ghosting.

Problems and Confusion

Some cases highlight confusion around this phase. A 2016 article records a situation where a screenshot sent by mistake during an ongoing "just talking" exchange led to hurt feelings and the end of communication. In other cases, people experienced sadness if feelings were not returned or if expectations differed, such as one participant who became anxious after months in the phase without any move toward exclusivity.

Common Demographics and Norms

This term is most associated with those aged 18 to 25, especially among U.S. college students. One large study reported that 94 percent of college participants recognized or used this term to describe their situations. Urban students linked "just talking" to physical closeness more than rural students by about 23 percent. Some gender differences appeared in surveys, with more men viewing the stage as a test of chemistry and more women focusing on emotional connection.

Related Terms

"Just talking" is seen as different from "hooking up" and "dating." About 84 percent in one survey agreed that "hooking up" meant physical acts, while "just talking" involved emotional sharing or starting to know someone. The term "situationship" is used in a similar way by 62 percent of app users, but is seen by many as longer-lasting than "just talking".

Use of Technology

Features like Instagram Stories, Snapchat streaks, and group chats make casual but regular conversation easy to keep up. Some participants prefer video or voice notes to judge character and comfort, with 54 percent seeing these as more personal than meeting in person right away. Crowdsourcing advice from friends by using social media polls is also common.

Legal and Health Issues

Some research points out that "just talking" does not meet the standards for implied legal arrangements and may add confusion about consent in some disputes. Studies from 2025 link longer "just talking" phases to more anxiety about attachment among emerging adults, with rates of anxiety about 32 percent higher than those who move sooner into defined relationships.