What Does Sliding Mean?

Sliding describes how people move into deeper stages of romantic relationships through passive progression rather than deliberate decisions. When someone slides into a relationship, they allow circumstances and social expectations to guide them toward commitment without having explicit conversations about their mutual expectations or future plans. Dr. Scott Stanley and other relationship researchers define sliding as an incremental process where couples transition through milestones like exclusivity or moving in together without thoughtful decision-making or agreed-upon boundaries.

How Sliding Works in Modern Dating

The process typically begins during ambiguous early dating stages that many people now call "talking" or "situationships." Partners spend increasing amounts of time together, their belongings accumulate at each other's homes, and they gradually assume couple-like behaviors without actually discussing what their relationship means. A 2023 YouGov survey found that 54% of respondents under 30 entered relationships through gradual transitions and hanging out rather than through defined conversations about commitment.

Dating apps contribute to this pattern by creating environments where people match and start texting without establishing intentions. Hinge's March 2025 Dating Intentions report revealed that 39% of users aged 18 to 29 described their most recent relationship as beginning with no real discussion, while 47% became official without establishing mutual expectations about exclusivity.

Common Examples of Sliding

Physical intimacy often develops through sliding when partners gradually increase sexual contact without discussing boundaries or expectations. What starts as casual kissing might progress to spending nights together and eventually to regular sexual activity, all without conversations about exclusivity or sexual health.

Cohabitation represents another frequent sliding milestone. The U.S. Census Bureau reported in 2024 that 65% of new cohabiting couples aged 20 to 34 moved in together within one year of starting to date, yet only 28% had direct conversations about future plans before living together. One partner might start leaving clothes at the other's apartment, then staying over multiple nights per week, until eventually they're effectively living together without formally deciding to take that step.

Why People Slide Rather Than Decide

OkCupid's February 2025 user data identified fear of rejection and not wanting to pressure the other person as the primary reasons people avoid commitment conversations. Over 70% of millennial and Gen Z users cited these concerns. Many people worry that bringing up relationship definitions too early will scare away their partner or make them appear needy.

The normalization of undefined relationship stages plays a role as well. Terms like "situationship" and "soft launch" have become standard vocabulary for describing relationships that exist in gray areas between casual dating and committed partnerships. Social media patterns reinforce this ambiguity, as people introduce relationships through vague Instagram stories or subtle mentions rather than formal announcements.

Research Findings on Sliding Outcomes

Academic studies consistently show that sliding correlates with lower relationship satisfaction compared to intentional decision-making. Hardesty and colleagues published findings in 2024 demonstrating that emerging adults aged 18 to 29 who slide into relationships report more uncertainty about their partner's commitment level. Powell's 2021 research found similar patterns, particularly among couples who transitioned to cohabitation without explicit discussions.

A Stanford Department of Psychology study from 2024 provided concrete data on this difference. Couples who discussed expectations at each relationship transition reported 43% higher satisfaction at the two-year mark compared to those who slid through milestones. The research tracked 500 couples and measured satisfaction through standardized relationship assessment tools at six-month intervals.

Social Media Discussion and Cultural Response

TikTok and Instagram users generated over 10 million views for the hashtag #AmbiguityCulture by October 2025, with posts featuring personal stories about sliding into relationships without clear boundaries. The hashtags #SlidingVsDeciding and #RelationshipAmbiguity peaked in February 2024, coinciding with widespread debates about modern dating practices across Reddit and Twitter.

Dating app companies have started addressing sliding directly in their user guidance. Bumble's July 2025 "How to DTR" blog encourages users to "decide, not slide," providing scripts for starting commitment conversations. The blog recommends establishing relationship definitions early to ensure both partners feel secure and equally invested in the relationship's progression.

Expert Perspectives on Sliding

Dr. Galena Rhoades points out that sliding occurs beyond early dating stages, affecting transitions like moving in together or initiating physical intimacy. Many couples later discover fundamental incompatibilities in values or life goals because they avoided intentional conversations during these transitions. Relationship therapist Esther Perel described sliding in a September 2025 Cosmopolitan interview as reflecting generational discomfort with direct confrontation, noting that while it might feel easier initially, it can delay meaningful connection and satisfaction.

Logan Ury and other dating coaches recommend specific strategies to avoid sliding. These include scheduling regular check-ins about the relationship's direction, explicitly discussing expectations before major transitions, and being willing to have uncomfortable conversations about commitment levels. They emphasize that intentional communication, while potentially awkward, creates stronger foundations for long-term partnerships than passive progression through relationship stages.