What is Ghostbusting?

Definition

Ghostbusting is when a person tries to get a response from someone who has stopped all communication after a romantic or dating exchange. This is done by sending messages, trying to interact on social media, or using humor to break the silence. The goal is usually to get closure or understand why the ghoster disappeared.

Common Methods

The most used ghostbusting methods are sending several texts, asking direct questions, using memes, or liking the ghoster’s social media posts. Some people try to reference a shared memory to stand out. Studies report that about 65 percent of ghosters do not respond, no matter the method. People who get ghostbusted typically ignore these attempts, but sometimes the ghostbuster gets a reply that brings the situation to an end.

Frequency and Who Does It

A 2023 study by the Thriving Center of Psychology found that about 84 percent of people have been ghosted. Of those, about 35 percent reported trying at least one ghostbusting tactic. Women are more likely to try social approaches such as memes or story reactions, while men are more likely to ask direct questions. Younger adults, including Gen Z and millennials, use ghostbusting more than older adults.

Why Ghostbusting Happens

Ghostbusting often happens because people do not want to be left without answers. Psychologists say it can be driven by a need for closure. Some people find the silence from ghosting painful and look for relief by reaching out. Sometimes people hope they can restart the conversation, but most do not get the intended result.

Success Rates

Most ghostbusting does not work. In online dating, around 27 percent of users report sending several messages after being ignored. Direct questions get a response about 12 percent of the time. Sending memes or jokes gets a response about 17 percent of the time. Public tactics like liking old posts rarely work. People usually stop after three to five attempts.

Social Media and Tech

Ghostbusting also takes place on platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok. Sometimes people will watch stories or like posts to remind the ghoster of their presence, a process called orbiting or haunting. Dating apps see a lot of this, especially when the person can no longer contact the ghoster through direct messages, so they shift to interacting with public posts.

Apps like Ghostbot can help users automatically respond to or block unwanted contacts. The Burner app allows people to use fake phone numbers to protect their privacy if a confrontation is likely. Some dating platforms promote communication by warning users about common ghosting behaviors, which can lower the rates of ghostbusting.

Ethics

Experts warn that ghostbusting can quickly cross into unwanted attention. Most therapists say one or two follow-up messages for closure are within reason. Sending more than ten messages with no reply risks becoming harassing. About 44 percent of mental health professionals point out that repeated ghostbusting can harm the sender’s self-worth. In rare cases, sending dozens of messages has led to legal problems. For relationships that lasted over three months, ghostbusting is more common and more accepted, but is much less seen as okay after only a first date.

Related Terms

·  Orbiting: When someone who ghosted still interacts with your social media activity, by viewing stories or liking posts.

·  Breadcrumbing: When the person who cut contact resumes communication off and on, often as a way to keep their options open.

·  Haunting: When a ghoster engages with your online content invisibly, like watching your stories but never messaging you.

·  Gaslighting: When the ghoster replies later and denies or distorts the past to justify their silence.